Bernard H. Oetjen passed away on January 16, 2026, at the age of 96. He was the only child of John and Agnes Oetjen, born on August 28, 1929, in St. Louis, Missouri, and he grew up in House Springs, Missouri.

After graduating from high school in 1948, he moved to St. Louis where he worked and attended night school at St. Louis University (SLU), majoring in accounting. In 1951, he began his career with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). He received an associate degree in 1952.

He then entered the U.S. Army, where he met Louise Brune. They were married in 1953. Upon discharge from the Army in June 1954, he returned to the IRS in St. Louis. After several years as an Internal Revenue Agent, he transferred to the Appeals Division.

In 1962, when he and Louise had five children, he returned to night school at SLU and earned a BS degree in accounting in 1965. He then went to law school at SLU. He was promoted to Head of the Appeals Office in Kansas City, Missouri, and continued law school at the University of Missouri at Kansas City (UMKC), receiving a Juris Doctorate degree in 1970.

In 1972, he was promoted to a position with the IRS in Washington, DC, where he worked until his retirement in 1980. After retirement he remained active as a tax consultant with a small clientele and held other part-time consulting roles. He served as the financial secretary for a large (more than 1,500 members) Knights of Columbus Council in Arlington for more than 15 years.

Survivors

He is survived by his loving wife of 73 years, Louise Oetjen; five children: Jeffrey (Cheryl), Deborah (Albert), Michael (Stephanie), Gregory (Susan), and Valerie (Ken); 12 grandchildren: Mark (Courtney), Michael (Sarah), A.G. (Olivia), Steven, Brian (Michelle), David, Christine (Andrew), Emily (Chris), Andrew, Max (Kelly), Tim, and Hannah; and 15 great-grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his oldest child, Pamela, and a grandson, Eric.

Life and Interests

In retirement, he loved spending time with family, gardening, and playing bridge. He was fortunate that his children and many of his grandchildren lived within an hour, allowing the family to easily gather for holidays, birthdays, and other occasions. For the past 30 years, many family members also vacationed together at various beaches and lakes.

He meticulously maintained his own landscaping, mowing his yard into his 80s, often remarking that he did a better job than the professionals he hired later. Each summer he kept a garden, growing tomatoes, green beans, cucumbers, squash, lettuce, and more—rarely needing to buy vegetables during the season and often sharing his harvest with his children.

Bernie loved games, particularly bridge, owning and directing several games for decades. As a player, he attained the rank of Saphire Life Master. In recent years, he sent his daily Wordle score to several of his children (often before 6 a.m.), and they would respond in kind.

Bernie, along with Louise, was a devoted member of St. John the Beloved Catholic Church. They attended daily Mass, prayed the rosary, participated in other weekly services, and managed the Sunday collection receipts for many years. He will be remembered as a man of deep faith, strong morals, an analytical mind, and good humor that never faltered up until the very end.

Services

Celebration of Life Visitation

Murphy Funeral Home
1102 West Broad Street
Falls Church, VA 22046
January 21, 2026 — 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Mass of Christian Burial

St. John the Beloved Catholic Church
6420 Linway Terrace
McLean, VA 22101
January 22, 2026 — 11:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.

Interment

Fairfax Memorial Park
9900 Braddock Rd
Fairfax, VA 22032
January 22, 2026 — 1:00 p.m. to 1:30 p.m.